The Greatest Most Accurate Predictions about Social Media Ever Made



Bank on these predictions coming true in 2013.  Guaranteed.

(Or your money back.)

Facebook can’t monetize and decides to shut down operations

  • Every gray-haired CMO says, “I told you so”
  • Zuckerberg announces new social network called Stalkbook for guys to share photos of girlfriends in bikinis
  • All the cows die in Farmville

Twitter increases character count to 212,758, which is the same number of words in Moby Dick

  • U.S. literacy increases by 74 percent after the first three months
  • Online sarcasm dies

Content curators are forced to share revenue with the actual content creators

  • Supreme Court laughs like hyenas after hearing the argument that “curation is an art form”
  • Curation officially made a synonym of “thievery”
  • Ariana Huffington breaks down weeping on “The View”

A celebrity sends out a controversial tweet and retracts it

  • Blames the initial tweet on “not keeping up with the news”
  • Within hours blames administrative assistant
  • Then checks into…

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